Pertama kali gw ngeliat Headline itu, letaknya ada di profile someone @Manjam. Yg pertama kali terlintas di pikiran gw by the time i read the text was, "Woaa, it's so powerful.." Yup, it did sounds like what i prefer from a guy (cuma perlu tambahan "tampan, tinggi, and educated"), hehe... But the message is so powerful...straight to the point gt.
Tadinya gw ud napsu pgn copy itu text pas di profile gw (sebodo deh mo plagiat), tp belom sempet gw online...gw jd mikir2. Udahannya gw pun jadi malu, hikz... Bukan'na apa, dipikir2 lagi walaupun sebenernya kualitas semacam itulah yg gw cr dr seorang lelaki (plus tambahan yg td ud gw sebut), tapi jujur aj gw lom berani setegas itu. Istilahnya klo ada cowoq yg memenuhi hampir semua kriteria di-atas, but he still want the sex...i think i still want to know him better. Nah..tergoda kan loe?
Maknya gw bilang, gw jd malu...malu karena ternyata gw lemah hati, malu krn ternyata gw gk bs stegas org lain, malu jg karena ternyata gw blom bs menunjukkan kualitas seorang lelaki imut manis sejati. I'm still out of the club, i guess...hikz..
Coz, if u really adore ur'self...pastinya u gk akan ragu2 lar. Klo u yakin sm kualitas diri u sendiri, pastinya u jg gk ragu buat ng-set kualitas calon pasangan u setinggi langit. Dan kualitas itu pastinya termasuk dalam hal urusan badaniah, coz u juz want the relationship, rite?
Nah, skrg perut gw jd mules lagi krn kebanyakn mikir..hihihi...
Intinya, hmm...kykna gw kudu berbenah lagi denk. Really need to set a high standar, coz gk ada gunanya jg to lower your standart, coz it means u'll get sumone lower than ur expectation, rite?
Skrg ini gw lg deket sm 1 cowoq...lets juz call him Leon. Nah, si Leon ini menurut gw ud hampir memenuhi standar lah. Gk jelek (walau gk tampan sekali), proporsional, ud lulus n ud kerja pula, well behave and good manner, Englishnya pun ok, well...not such a bad choice. Cuma masalahnya dr awal dia ud bilang dengan jujur, "i'm looking for a partner, both for sex and relationship.." jreng..jreng..!!
Cm karena waktu itu gw ud kenapsuan (and gw pikir, let's give it a try) yah gw terusss aj kyk jalan tol. Sp sangka tnyata lanjut ampe detik ini...dan sekrang mulai deh gw gundah gulana mikirin hal yg sebenernya gk penting buat dipikirin ini.
Soalnya gini...gw pikir2 (mikir mulu!), soon he will ask to meet (i'm so sure about this, ibaratnya...ud kepegang niy, haha..) Later, if we meet...gw yakin dia gk akan bertahan lebih dari satu putaran, alias will become one date only. Coz gw inget bgt di profile'na dia prnh nulis "Don't want a femme type, i better date with girl then.." Nah, gw siy gk jelas yg dimaksud femme itu yg tipe feminin, ato yg sissy abies. Klo yg dimaksud itu yg pertama, jelas gw gk masuk itungan...coz gw kan tipe2 bot manis yg gk manly2 bgt. Istilahnya, jalan kudu digandeng, pulang kudu dianter, haha... Jd, klo tar kita ketemuan, trus dia ngeliat manner gw yg sweet gt (plus ditambah sweater gw yg imut itu, hahaha...) ud bs ditebak, dia bakal gelagapan trus minta pulang ato pura2 ada urusan.
Hmm, jd sebernya siy gk us dipikir terlalu dalem, i'll juz hav to do the countdown. Yah, artinya this one not gonna work then? Huhu, alamt mst hunting lg dunk..cape gw! Makanya, i think next time i need to really set my standart first. Kyk cowoq yg di Manjam itu tuw... Masalah jodoh datengnya cepet ato lambat, i think it's ok..as long as it's for the best.
Tapi ini pikiran waras gw yg lg berbicara. Gk tau deh hari2 ke-depan'na gmn. Kyk td siang aj, gw lg chat di Mirc (emang salah channel jg kali ye?), pas ketemu sama cowoq pri yg umurnya 19 taon. Yup, berondong..i know, baru lulus smu kykna coz pic'na ada yg msh pake seragam smu. Masalahnya baju seragamnya gk dikancing alias half top-less, hihi.. U know, for some reason...i always get horny klo ngeliat cowoq slim n kenceng pake seragam putih abu-abu. Menurut hasil penyelidikan, hal ini dikarenakan pengaruh dr BF pertama gw yg gw dapet pas SMU kelas 2. Nah, jadi bayang2 cowoq SMU bikin gw jd ke-inget sm mantan gw itu deh. Secara dia jg kan modelnya yg slim n kenceng gt...bodinya yg kenceng maksud gw. Gk tau deh barang'na, secara waktu itu gw ms SMU...lom kepikiran ampe ksana, hehe..
Nah, pas ngeliat pic tuw berondong (yg sebenernya ud gk pantes lg buat gw dr segi umur), otomatis horny lah gw. And u know, it's so easy to get laid with berondong...u juz have to ask, and that's what i've almost done (see!! I didn't do it...i still have brain u know, wkakakz) Yah, dgn berat hati i juz have to say bubye...tp kan sekali ini gw berhasil, kali lain? Gmn klo tergoda lagi, huhu...skrg aja gw lg menyesali nasib.
Yg kyk gini gw suka ks istilah, "Thing u don't want to do but u should do" I do it, no matter how much i hate it, how much i don't want it, bcoz i have to admit that there's a greater goodness beyond. Jd walau terkadang gw ngelakuin dgn hati gondok n setengah ikhlas, pada akhirnya hasilnya pun baik buat gw. So, maybe this is how's life work...u can't always stay on ur comfort zone. Sumtimes u need to make a decision, and it's not always about what u like or what u prefer, it is about sumthing goes beyond than that. Karena gak semua hal tampak di permukaan kan? Ada hal2 yg kita gk akan prnh tau, and i think that's why God gave us the intuition. An ability to talk through urself, and find the answer for almost everything.
