Veronica Decides to Die

Today is Monday...i know, it's the day where i'm suppose to be happy and light-weighted. Besides, the fact that i've managed to force (literally..FORCE!!) myself to coped and finished those TGA work, i think i should be grateful and proud of myself at the same time, rite? Don't want to talk much about it...since i still got 2 last weeks to finish with. Until that day...i'll remain speechless about it.
Now, let's talk about this moan-day...hehe... The truth is, i'm not really moan, i didn't complaint actually about this day. I'm free...and nothing i can complaint about being free. I juz feel "less" bcoz i used to go to Vihara, but i didn't go this week. Kinda felt like guilty, hehe.. Lagian, di minggu2 kmrn gw tuw selalu sibuk berjibaku dgn deadline tugas yg kykna gk ada abisnya. I never got a weekend, since i've used them to finished my task. Jadi, begitu dpt hari senggang kyk gini...malah rasanya aneh, and again..feeling guilty. Emang siy, to be honest..ms ada beberapa tgs yg mst gw beresin, but i'm juz not in the mood. Jd mgkn itu jg yg bikin gw feelin' a lil' bit guilty. Hehe, but that's okay...i'll finish it, rite away...i juz need to feel better. And to write, is one of my way to feel better..
Yesterday, during my enjoyable free time at Saturday, i spent my time to watch DVD. Hell yeeaah, those movie that i bought like century ago, which i never managed to watch it b'coz i'm too damn busy and too little too much time. But yes, yesterday i DID watch some of them.

One of the story, the one that made me urge to write...it's about a woman who decided to end up her life. But it's not the thing, the important thing...is the message in the end of the movie. That to become a human, and to have a life...we actually have to have what they call as "life-awareness". Self awareness that I am actually alive rite now, so that we would call everyday as a miracle. One more day to life, one more chance to breathe, one more chance to many opportunities and of also michieves in life. I juz thought...kadang gw sk berasa boring with my life, apalagi klo mikirin hal2 apa aj yg blom gw capai (and entah akan bisa tercapai ato engga). Cm klo misalnya gw bs lebih mensyukuri hidup gw, mungkin gw gk akan terlalu banyak complaint. Soalnya, terkadang hal2 indah dalam hidup bs kita dapet dr hal2 kecil...like, having a little chit n chat with ur trusted fren, sharing stories, eat gud stuff, listen to great music, actually breathing in and out, having a calm nite, hav a good nite sleep, have a very sweet dream (like one i juz had, hihi...)
So, mungkin ms buaaanyak hal-hal yg blom g capai. And masih banyak pula hal-hal yg belum gw kerjakan, dan di sisi yg sama...ms banyak pula hal2 yg wajib gw kerjakan. So, for now...let's juz stick with it. I mean, finish it one by one...like i always say "one step at a time".
Jd klo skrg ini gw ms hrs berjuang sedikit lg dgn TGA gw, sok atuh...kerjakan, finish it...make it well done! And abis itu, klo gw ms punya sejuta rencana...sok atuh, dicoba, dibuat spy mungkin, make it possibble, work it out, and when it actually not workin' yet...embrace ur life once again, then try another way. Jd gk perlu stress kan, u don't need to carry away those bourdon. Emang siy, gw ud gk sabar bgt wants to livin a life hell life Betty Suarez in Ugly Betty. Well, not actually like her of course. Only the part that she's workin' on fashion magazine, and she's got a hot gay co-worker (well, it's actually her enemy actually...hehe), and she's livin in a city, yes...i want it, plus one cozy apartment, wkakakz..

Mungkin yg perlu dicoba adalah saran dr sebuah majalah ato orang y?), yang intinya belajar menyikapi hidup. jd, klo pas mau tidur...bersyukurlah atas satu hari yg ud lewat wheter it's gud or bad, and klo bsk tnyata u ms bgn...then be grateful for it, then live ur life. Maybe, that way...we'll have a less regret in our life.